PPS Names Best and Worst Public Spaces in the Galaxy

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pril 1, 20006 - With nearly 20 eons of experience helping people and extraterrestrials improve their public spaces, PPS has seen it all. Our intergalactic staff has traveled 1023 light years, working in over 1200 planets, 50 solar systems, and 14 dimensions. From universe-spanning wormholes to neighborhood asteroid belts, here are the best places we've come across. Plus, read on for our Cosmic Hall of Shame.

  1. Methane Riverfront, Ganymede
    This Jovian moon is completely uninhabitable to humans, but its rivers of super-cold, noxious methane are home to some of the liveliest hangouts for microscopic organisms in the known universe.


    2. You can't tell with the naked eye, but Ganymede's Methane Riverfront is a hotbed of public activity.

  2. Used Android Parts Market, Alpha Centauri
    Not only are the vendors at this sprawling marketplace always up for talking shop, the mechanized beeps and whirs emanating from the merchandise add a whole new level of bustling activity.
  3. Luxembourg Gardens, Paris, Earth
    Sun, shade, places to rest, amenities both grand and unassuming, and a wealth of different activities - this park has everything.
  4. Wormhole Square, Gamma Quadrant
    Although this wormhole is one of the most heavily trafficked inter-dimensional transportation nodes in the galaxy, it retains a welcoming pedestrian scale by virtue of the mixed-use ring of shops and housing clusters girdling its circumference.
  5. Asteroid Belt, Earth's Solar System
    The asteroid belt closest to the mother planet is also the most flexible. Its millions of movable rocks put the user in control. Feeling chilly? Take a few steps and you're on the sunny side. Too exposed to solar radiation? Scoot on over to the shady side.

Cosmic Hall of Shame

  1. Black Holes
    These voids suck all the life and matter out of huge swaths of celestial fabric. Normally we say that any space can be turned around, but in this case we make an exception. Someone just make them go away, please.


    2. Black holes don't even allow light to function normally, let alone street vendors.

  2. The Ort Cloud
    This region located beyond the orbit of the most distant planets is dominated by aggressive, high-speed comets emitting long, hazardous trails of exhaust, debris, and ice. Merely removing the comets from the sun's gravitational pull would slow them down substantially and allow the Ort Cloud to fulfill its potential as a great public space.
  3. Boston City Hall Plaza, USA, Earth
    Millennia have passed since we first put this place on our Hall of Shame, and every attempt to enliven it has failed. It's time to let go of the original design and start anew.